#i pray to any and every god
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before anyone is like "you are so negative" I am so burnt out. so jaded from working to survive. from having to sit and watch shit after historical event shit. from having to choose the lesser thing that'll fuck us up more. from watching everyone acknowledge corporation and rich people openly being a reason why a lot of us are working to survive right now, voicing it to the people who can shut that all down, and nothing being done.
so yes, I conceed. I submit. I will shrimply watch everything crumble with no hope for my own or anyone's future and smile at the funny little things my friends show me and live it day by day now
#and despite having no real hope for the future#i pray to any and every god#i send out the wishful thinking and vibes into the universe#that it is not the case. that yall and future generations HAVE an easier time so you never get to my point of burnout and pessimism
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i just wanted to draw the ave mujica outfits .
#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#proseka#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#nenekasa#<- i like them.#sorry i like mygo + avemuji but cant make fanart of anything im not Fucking Crazy about normally#had to touch it up digitally because i tried coloring a Pen Drawing in with Watercolor. in earnest.#Everything think the announcements gonna be a new unit. I think that would be hilarious and the worst possible timing#Given where everyone else's arcs are but the miku design looked cute so if its jsut a new game that would cheese me#My tag blabbering... what else ... im artfight slacking. my wrist hurts. course selection is next week. SCREAMS#please pray to God i do not have any 8am classes. PLEASE. my college commute takes over an hour. If i have to wake up at 6am i will k#Oh my God i have to go to the dentist tomorrow too please fucking helpme THEYRE GONAN FIDN AMILLION CAVITIES AND KILL ME. AAAAAHG.#Every time theres another proseka broadcast announced i get scared cause i have so many song covers i want in the game but.#I want to draw them first. So that if they Do get added to the game i cna go HEH... >:)....#Thats whyi did skeleton orchestra emnn and scissorhands rks. I want scissorhands in the game reallybad i love that song#3DMV EVEN PLEEEASE but also nothing can too miumes choreography from like a decade ago i wanna do a cosplay performanc eof it someday...#i ❤️ waacking.#actually the one i Really want to draw is ALSO nenekasa. record red save me. ILL DRAW IT OK
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RICK IF YOU EVER MAKE ANOTHER SIDE BOOK AND GIVE US A SIDE STORY ABOUT MR D THAT EVEN JUST CARESSES HIS DEMIGOD DAYS I WILL GIVE YOU MY LIFE, MY SOUL, AND MY MUTALS SOULS
#please#please please#please please please#rick riordan#pjo Dionysus#Dionysus pjo#the brainrot i have for him#mostly cause he is the main god I pray to#pjo#Every time he's mentioned I squee#both when reading any Riordanverse content or even in classical studies#In classical studies when he or Thebes. His mom. aunts and or Harmonia and Cadmus are even mentioned I squee internally and kick my legs
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go to an asian stylist that doesn’t understand alt haircuts, go to an alt stylist that doesn’t understand asian hair, i should kms forever and ever and ever
#danbles#im one degree away from just going bald send help for the love of god im abt to become a praying man#every time i think it can’t get any worse.#guess i gotta learn how to do it myself
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if it’s gotten to the fucking point that the Ministry of Education has to announce that “the school year is cancelled” for part of Gaza because all its students have been murdered, humanity has failed, failed at everything— flat out, point blank, and unequivocally failed.
#I will not pretend that I’ve known the extent of the situation up until now#I feel I’ve been out of touch with true reality and have only now been catching up#and my heart and mind will never fully be able to comprehend why and how and WHY this is happening#but GOD these children#I once worked with Syrian youth who had come to Canada with their families#to hear their pain and listen to their cries— I still don’t sleep well at night. I hear them all the time.#now children are writing their names on their bodies so they can be IDENTIFIED.#humanity has failed; this is NOT humanity.#it’s just so insane and unbelievable and just simply UNFATHOMABLE that this is going on#LET ALONE FOR OVER 17 YEARS.#to hear my friends and coworkers cry over their lost friends and family members#to have to hold them for THIS REASON.#I have never been a praying person in my life but I am believing in any and every god for the people of Palestine.#I will not believe that choosing to pray does nothing.#because while those beautiful people keep praying I will keep praying.#and it’s not even corny to say that I’m praying for that bright break in the clouds#for the sun to shine upon them SOON AND QUICKLY.#for my friends and my coworkers and my neighbours who grieve and mourn but still pray for an end.#hugging and kissing and holding everyone very tightly from where I am. because I can do little else than I already am.#palestine#free palestine#free gaza#✦ nc vb.#cw murder
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i call this collection, contradictory quotes from two boys very, very confused about their families, homes, and loyalties.
#valyrianscrolls#asoiaf meta#asoiaf#jon snow#theon greyjoy#jonathan snowflake starkgaryen#long post#this was such a pain bc tumblr kept giving me errors processing the post#so i ended up having to copypaste into a word doc and take screengrabs of that to post as photos#finally posting out of sheer stubborn frustration as much as anything#(c)lsb#i am no stark#its not like i think jon was wishing for cat's death every time she went into childbirth#but the possibility must have occured to him that w/o her nobody would question his place at winterfell where hed lived his whole life#the same could not be said for hostage theon with no stark blood#and hes blinded by jealousy to think jon had more honor at wf. more love maybe but he wasnt the one sitting with robb for fancy feasts#jon's thoughts of the gods are quoted bc hes implicitly counting himself a stark with that phrasing instead of his gods or the old gods#just like theon betraying himself every time he said plural gods even if he never cared enough abt any gods to pray until ramsay#i'll always think his capture of wf had as much to do w desire to become a stark as revenge#else he would have sacked the castle and took hostages back to pyke like asha said#its like the saying if you cant beat em join em for theon it was the opposite#he couldnt understand why people who knew him as a hostage wouldnt help him hunt down his own child hostages#it was only fair! theyd be his wards and still live at winterfell together#it occurs to me that stannis for jon was like ned for theon stern scary guy he had to remind himself not to care about#jon may as well be shouting im the lord of winterfell when announcing his desertion hes so bold yet he thinks if this is oathbreaking#if! what theon turncloak mental gymnastics could make it not oathbreaking to kill a northern lord?!
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#So I'm putting all this in tags because I'd prefer it not get out into wider Tumblr. I pondered even posting it but I think some of y'all#are following the drama and/or praying for my family so I figured I'd post an update. Just pretend there are commas and it's all readable.#Got a hearing date today. February 6th. Now I need to get affidavits and medical records. Not much to do in the way of affidavits because#either he made sure no one saw anything or I made sure. (Shame is a heckuva thing.) I really need the medical records from the assault.#Can't get them because I am currently without ID. I am currently without ID because I have had a beginner's permit for ~10 years now and#those have to be renewed in-person every year. Can't get to DMV to get it renewed because... no car. Can't use Uber because you have to#provide your own car seats and where am I going to put three car seats while I'm at the DMV? Can't use bus because... bus lines.#...it's stressful.#Also I'm still not sure about the theology of all this but it's also impossible not to see the Hand of God in freeing me and the boys from#this man so either God will help me work out the theology of it later or I'll ask Him when I get to Heaven.#Practically speaking I will not ever permit him and the boys unsupervised contact again if I can help it because he WILL neglect them#at best and physically hurt them for his own amusement and/or beat them up because of his temper at worst.#...anyway any and all prayers are appreciated.
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was supposed to have an extra day off sort of tomorrow because of bathroom renovations going on at work (it would have been wfh but that would still have been another day not doing the same task for 8 hours) but the reno got pushed back to next week and now i don't have a cushion day between being the only person in office at work and "mother's friend(s) and many children showing up for a cookout" day. i think my brain is going to liquefy if i don't get to take at least a few days off soon
#i don't know if i'm going to get any substantial vacation this month#if i do it'll be in a few weeks#but i'm so tired yall. i'm so tired and mind-weary and accidentally isolated again#it's gonna be okay soon i have to assume/hope/pray. i'm very lucky to have a job that is only so wretchedly busy a few months a year#but good god one day i'll be the one who sneaks the week-long vacation right as soon as we can#not to be passé but literally every day i get fucking emails and this time of the year it's ALWAYS time sensitive emails. the worst kind#best believe i'm taking off a week soon and i'm GOING to do a little roadtrip get the good peaches my granddad loved most#i've been saying i'll do that for years and i never get to it#but god as my witness i will get them peaches this year#aster chat
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Damn, tomorrow will be now or never moment cause I will try to get tickets on 3rd august 2024 concert 🫣🙏🏼
#praying to every gay god and spirits of Sappho and Emily Dickinson#i used to think I won't have a chance to go at any Taylor's concert and now this#my swiftie and Kaylor heart can't take it
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Well folks, it finally happened. After over ten years of creating (and even occasionally posting!) fic......I am finally writing m/m.
#seems like we're going from zero to 100 right out of the gate on this first outing too#okay it's more like. zero to 80 probably#but you know. still.#I saw a Thing™ and I got. Mad. so now we're creating out of spite :)#part of me is surprised that THIS is the pairing that finally got me here but like honestly I really shouldn't be#this is what happens when people are needlessly mean to characters I like#my god I hope I don't regret this I do not have a handle on this particular pairing at ALL#there's not a mentally troubled woman involved what do I even DO here#*crossing my fingers praying to every deity anyone has ever believed in* please just be a 3k fic please just be a 3k fic please just be-#(^if it becomes much longer than that I am putting it on hold and going back to Other Things IMMEDIATELY)#I am so sorry to anyone who had any investment in me completing literally anything else ;-;
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most unfortunate thing ive learned about getting into jr.wi is the overlap with genlo.ssers
#im so sorry but also i keep getting jumpscared in my notes. hrgh#its a new year so im not gonna be a hater but just know every time i go to follow a new blog im like. 🤨#praying to GOD this doesnt show up in any tags#theres also. ive found. a very specific style of fanfic writing where im like “oh you came from the ranb.oo side of dsmp didnt you.”#theres such a SPECIFIC voice ppl write in and j cant explain it but it goes#i open a fic. i recognize ranb.oo fan writing style. i immediately close the fic#im sorry but ran.boo fans are a different breed and 90% of the time theyre Not Normal about queer people#and . gillion being asexual js like. putting him behind my back. nobody fucking touch him.#hes not uwu innocent baby boy and if i have to see one more person writing him like that im going on my villain arc#i knowwww thats an issue with most ace characters but im Especially miffed about the gil writers. nobody understands him like i do#i havent found the earth shattering lifechanging jrwi fics yet#and im so upset about it because that means i have to dredge the depths of the tag myself
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acquaintance from a church: please give this church one more chance! it's the same pastor we all love!
me: ...the pastor is one of the reasons I left, so that'll be a no from me :)
#gee Id LOVE to go back to the place where I was told introverts dont exists#'if you dont pray in tongues god thinks yoir prayers are boring'#one of the elders told me I can never trust any academic to tell the truth#the pastor regularly criticismes lgbt people and my ace self is supposed to be ok with that (ha! nope)#they said we should all strive to 'use our gifts' but my gift of teaching meant 'would you like to teach children?' i dont like children#i left every single service feeling like someone was screaming 'you dont derseve to be loved' inside my head#the communication between groups is a joke#the pastor kept harping about it being the end times...that thing that induces anxiety because I probably have traume related to it now#my need to ask questions and ask why was constantly frowned on#and everything I learned outside the church means nothing because I dont have a bible degree or some bs so Im always the one who's wrong#and this guy wants me to 'give them another chance'? fuck. no.#Im annoyed now.
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i think watching goodbye stranger changed me as a person
#literally WHAT the fuck#great meg. great megstiel too obviously. great sam & meg interaction too actually#great dean & meg also !!!!!! i love them interacting so bad#But. wgat the fuck#it's so crazy. it's so crazy. oohhh goodbye stranger it's been nice but by the morning i must go feel no sorrow feel no shame (i dont#remember the lyrics help)#It's just. ppl always talk abt it obvs but what do you mean cas was brainwashed and forced to kill his friend God only knows how many times#and hearing dean say he NEEDED HIM (no matter what miscommunication happened) BROKE THE DAMN CONTROL CONNECTION#And them he leaves.#IT'S MAKING ME CRAZY (and emotional actually..) CAS ALL BY HIMSELF ON THAT DAMN TRAIN BUS WHATEVER#i can reason with him. hes a good man .............#also dean can never fucking win can he. sees his bestie flirting with his demon friend and then bares his soul to said bestie only to have#him fucking LEAVE HIM#(i prayed to you cas! every night!) i dont know dean if hes so sketchy why were you praying to him? (i dont pray because it's like begging)#spn really DOES unlock some kind of secret emotion what the hell#really makes me give some sort of vague soulful stare towards the horizon without actually showing any discernible emotion on my face#fuck. give robbie thompson a million dollars or whatever#sandy speaks
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IF I GET ONE MORE “hey… can we talk?” FROM ANYONE I AM GONNA TURN INTO AN OYSTER
#what is this eight????#EIGHT potential beautiful magical friendships ruined bc some guy thinks I’m the manic pixie dream girl of his dreams?????#JESUS FUCKIN CHRIST YALL#this shit happens every time I get undepressed#we do have to laugh at the RIPE potential I have to create a harem at basically any (non-depressed) time#like. thank god I’m poly Ig????#idk fuckin pray for me while I try to let this guy down easy
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oh so the yr i decide that im gonna skip the least classes possible is the yr that the bus is full and so i might even have to skip ALL my classes if i dont use a taxi???????
#killing myself fr. this hasnt happened in any of the 4 yrs ive been using this bus#i have to wait an hour now to catch the next bus to the city and then pray to god and every single entity#that im in time to catch the bus to takebme to uni. otherwise im fucked until 1pm#this is truly shitty as hell my god#z xarre
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I’m so excited. I know how to have one (1) extremely specific interaction in Irish now. someone ask me how I’m doing and what the weather is like quick /j
#looking into tapping into things I have been curious about in the past#(this happens every once in a while)#again. my family is Irish so I decided the learn the language#but I’m also exploring spirituality#I don’t think I believe in any of the major religions (though I’ve been standing from afar gazing at Judaism#I am extremely fond of a lot of their ideas and culture. beautiful stuff#and frankly I feel like I’ve been getting signs that I should convert for years now#but I’m not in a place where I feel like I can commit to it so I am just admiring from afar#while I foster what I think ‘god’ is#there’s this concept that some people have that like#god is not a dude who has a beard and lives in the clouds#but rather is the feeling you get when you connect with another person#the sense of wonder you feel when you see something beautiful#and I think perhaps even the ability to hope/wish/manifest/pray/etc something into existence#my mom calls this ‘energy’ but I do not vibe with this term#idk how to explain it other than like#when you’re watching a movie and you see those lines they draw to represent wind and it’s blowing around leaves#or snow#and it’s meant to represent this idea that there is Something affecting the word but it is not corporeal and incredibly vague#that’s what I believe in#it is unknowable but it can be influenced with good intentions#and it permeates your body when you connect to another human in a meaningful way#that’s what it’s like for me. doesn’t have to be for you! but that’s what I’m working with right now#there’s this prayer that saint augustine wrote that I edited lightly to more suit my needs#and I try to say it once a day#I believe it is called Watch O Lord#I edited some of the words to more suit how I view the world but I really like the intention#anyways#Tá sé fuad ach tá sé tirim. It is cold but it is dry. thank you New York!!!!!!
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